|
[Friday
October 30th, 2009] |
|
Tonight is the night of my first time performing in front of so many people. Scream here I come.
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
May 17th, 2009] |
I HATE STUPID UNORIGINAL FUCKING LEECHES THAT TRY STEAL IDEAS AND THEN BENEFIT AND TRY TO PASS THEM AS THEIR OWN. NOT GONNA HAPPEN THIS TIME IM STAYIN ON TOP OF THIS SHIT!
God damn! lmao
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
May 14th, 2009] |
| [ |
music |
| |
wheres my money |
] |
I just realized how unhealthy my roommate must be. The only thing I witness him consume is.. Coffee, energy drinks, and toast. I watch this guy go through about a loaf of bread in a day, the occasional KD or sometimes a burrito but I don't think I've ever seen him eat any fresh vegetables or fruit except maybe on christmas.. He use to throw some frozen broccoli into his KD but those days seem to be over.. lol I'm a bit concerned to say the least.
It's like a death wish.
|
|
|
| theory and action? |
[Tuesday
May 12th, 2009] |
I always can't help but feel that I'm just observing this world around me, contributing only my thoughts.. Not really acting so much on them and more so watching if and how other people benefit from them...
I feel almost scared when I think about living my dreams, will it ever happen? I know that if I tell myself it will and work towards something I will surely succeed but how much action am I actually taking? Is anything I'm doing today going to help me in the future? HELL NO LOL I've been sitting on my ass for so long not making money not doing shit.
I feel like the laziest person on the planet when it comes to just DOING stuff...
I am living my life and I couldn't have asked for a better life than this one I was given..
I just feel so dependent on things around me that could potentially not be there tomorrow. Am I prepared to support myself and work towards living my dreams? Again, fuck no.
I've never been more ready to take action.. I just need a little push in the right direction.
Where you find a balance between theory and action? If this post makes any sense to you at all you should reply.. haha
|
|
|
| Cigarettes X-Ray Spex |
[Wednesday
May 6th, 2009] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
Packet of cigarettes on the counter
Carrying a government health warning
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
Why not take paper currency and light it up?
A lower tar content and a quicker puff
Then you could keep the money, you could keep the tax
You could keep the money, you could keep the tax
Fields wasted growing tobacco could be used to feed the third world countries
This is the Age of Hypocrisy
Everybody's saying "Vote for me! Vote for me!"
Blind leaders leading the blind
The cheaters and the cheated you will always find
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
The tax.... the tax.... the tax,
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
But the biggest serial killer is a heart attack
The biggest serial killer is a heart attack
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
But the biggest serial killer is a heart attack
Still they want the money, still they want the tax
But the biggest serial killer .....
The biggest serial killer .....
The biggest serial killer .....
The biggest serial killer .....
The biggest serial killer is a heart attack
|
|
|
|
[Friday
February 6th, 2009] |
|
WEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVEZ TA HULAHOOP :)
But no seriously I'm getting really good. I'm going to try to make a promise to myself that I will practice every day. Because I still have so much room for improvement.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
December 30th, 2008] |
My mom is a fucking C-U-N-T. I know if you're reading this post, you're only reading about it because you love to hear negative things from people so feel free cause I don't give a shit.
So it's my brothers 6th birthday tomorrow. I'm gonna really emphasize on the word SIXTH....
So anyways Ernie and his new girlfriend arrange a little party at the bowling alley for tonight and I go and it's fun.
Then who shows up but my crazy mother (who even told her anyways?) So she comes and starts a scene of course, being a huge cunt and then asks Ernie to buy her a drink. LOL when his girlfriend says "No he won't buy you a drink." Then my mom flips out and starts swearing in front of little Ernie's friends who are 5-7 and Ernies kids and even calls Tori a fucking bitch.. Even if she is a bitch that's still no excuse to ruin a perfectly fine party.
I'm so tired of this woman always bringing bad vibes with her everywhere she goes. My 6 year old brother even picks up on it and it's the saddest thing ever to me.
When your own kids don't want you around then that's fucked. And just because you gave birth to them does not give you the right to go out and start scenes whenever the fuck you please. It's embarrassing and wrong on so many levels. I hate it when she blames every other person but herself for her outrageous outbursts, it stresses me the fuck out. If she were to read this livejournal post right now she probably would blame me for being a horrible daughter because I'm tired of putting up with her goddamn shit. Just cause I refuse to be part of her entourage and do anything she asks and agree with her over the top irrationality..
She needs some heavy heavy therapy, but no therapist would want to deal with her cause she's way too all over the place.
How about get a fucking hobby or a job and focus on better more important things that will help better yourself as a person instead of trying to drag everyone down with you. Pathetic.
|
|
|
| Edmonton |
[Wednesday
July 23rd, 2008] |
Well, well. Here I am again, I have an entire information overload in my brain right now so try n cope.
Just got home from Motion Notion yesterday and what an experience that was! lol the whole mind, body, soul.
It took us 16 hours to get there including a 3 hour nap along the road..
I did a lot of reflecting and thought a lot about my life in general, cried, laughed, danced, partied, met new people, heard new (and might i add AMAZING) music, learned a lot of new things not only about myself and my path but other peoples as well. I gained a lot more faith in myself, being in the moment actually watching myself as I grow and venture off into "adulthood".
Right when you feel like there isn't much left it seems life throws you a bucket full of new opportunities and lessons to learn.
Right now I'm probably the happiest I've ever been in my entire life, I've gotten rid of the low self esteem I had growing up and replaced it with this confidence I never knew existed for me.
Winnipeg really limits your creativity and is just restricting, it's like a city that doesn't progress. You never really realize what level of negative energy is here until you're looking at it from outside, its like sky high.
Anyways I could go on about all the spiritual and emotional growth i've gained, but I really need to have a shower lol.
Laterr
P.S. Having someone with me on these kinds of journeys just makes things even better, I'm so lucky to have such an amazing teacher/partner who inspires me and who continuously brings out the best in me. I'm so in love! :)
|
|
|
|
[Monday
June 30th, 2008] |
Meeep. I haven't really updated in ages so I must have something to rant about. Oh yeah, it's high school grad season, I do! Why is graduating from high school (aka prison) such a big deal? People go out and put in hundreds of dollars to making the perfect night when it's all a load of bullshit anyway. I didn't goto any grads, but if I did I wouldn't spend any money on any sort of princess gown or my hair, good lord. And maybe I'm holding a biased opinion because I never actually graduated from high school and don't know "how it feels to complete it". And maybe because of that I'm a failure at life to society but in all honesty ever since I left that place I've been experiencing life like I never could and even though I knew graduating wasn't a big deal to me I really saw this year (after seeing one happening at ass park) how big of a deal i is to everyone else. No one even questions the fancy glorified celebration, limos, the whole shabang, its just how it is.. lol
On another note I heard some "girlicious" bullshit chick group brought to you by the pussycat dolls are performing here..
I just saw some video of them on youtube and.. uh, wow. Lol is that what the public are watching and listening to these days?
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
April 27th, 2008] |
|
PENDULUM
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
March 29th, 2008] |
I'm officially the happiest camper ever, besides having to work in half an hour..
Shambhala tickets came in the mail yesterday!!!! Words can't even describe how excited I am! WOOOOOOHOOOOO. I'll take pictures later. Also, Tylers probably taking me to maiden in June. The next few months are looking fucking sweeet. Electrocution April 4th then Banff on the 7th. I'm not tryin to brag or anything, need to get this out somewhere, its not my fault my life rules. ITS IN THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE ~**~*~ lmfao.
|
|
|
| blah blah blah |
[Sunday
March 23rd, 2008] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
interpol |
] |
Astrological crap that I find interesting about myself I just needed a place to put..
( hooorah )
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
March 22nd, 2008] |
Ok so I happened to take part in this discussion board on facebook and I just need to rant..
"RAH, ALA, Jehovah, Buddah, Yaweh... Whatever the name, how can so many people beleive something so irrational, so vague? How can a fictional being, have such power?
Now the real question. If GOD is real... Where is the solid unwritten evidence?
If GOD is not real, WHY has this dillusion gone on so long?"
Anyway it stirred up quite a storm.
A lot of good answers, a lot of stupid ones.
How can I put this.. Basically, I hate Christians.
Why do we NEED to have some sort of answer? Clearly we weren't meant to know or else it would be in plain sight.
People are pathetic. What makes me so angry is that after all the evidence proving that Jesus, or all these other fictional characters (ex. Horus some Egyptian sun god whos story was told 3000 BC who has basically all things in common with jesus and every other savior) etc etc.. All these similiar types of saviors having a lot in common because it's totally astrological based, and some people just can't wrap their minds around it. Think about it, before we became so established, before anything electronic, what did we have to study? HMM. Maybe the sun and the stars and all things nature. It makes perfect sense. If you do some research you will see that jesus and the sun are really the same thing.. I won't bother getting into it here it would take me an hour. Go watch zeitgeist if you haven't already.
SO now that it's been proven that Jesus isn't real. Lets get back to this "God"
"Well who made the sun and the stars?"
Um ok well yes I see this infinite loop here but who really gives a shit and why is this relevent?
There were no human beings around to write that shit down, but there were when we started to build religions and corrupt all that is mankind. Everyone these days has opened their eyes a little and has seen that religion is the reason for so much bullshit in the world that it makes us all sick to our stomachs.
Which brings me to my next subject.. Heaven?
Alright, we all have morals, well most of do anyway. We know what's good and what's bad, it differentiates from person to person. What makes it ok for some "God" to tell us what is right and what is wrong when really there is no specific definition, if it's how each and every individual perceives it and how we chose to live our lives. Some people have no problem with cheating or lying or stealing, who am I to tell them that they are wrong to do so? I mean it's certainly not the type of person I'd get to friendly with but it's a personal choice.
You know, I truly believe that if there is a heaven that it's on earth. Why waste your life obeying some set of rules made by who knows who??, like saving yourself for marriage for example, while you're living just to die and then all happiness comes? Why does "God" give the world have such a negative outlook? Why not start thinking for yourself..
And for all I know there most definitely could be a "higher being" out there. I do believe that some things feel destined, almost as if it was part of some sort of "plan". And if that's how it is then that's how it is, if it's not then I'm not going to question it. I'm just going to keep living my life.
Have fun, make mistakes, try new things, learn, teach, laugh, cry, love, share, BREATHE, dance, sing, touch, taste, see, smell, hear, be weird because what the fuck is normal? i tried being that and it's pretty hard..
Why can't we be happy with just.. being.
AND STOP PAYING THE DAMN CHURCHES.
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
March 19th, 2008] |
Interesting night, I hadn't slept all night yesterday so I ended up crashing at 9:30, woke up at midnight and I've been up ever since. Now it's 8 o'clock and I can't goto sleep because I have to do banking and dollar store then see the kids.
I totally have the job at the dollar store I just know it. Haha soo stoked, my first real job! Besides Mcdicks like 2 years ago. How embarassing. Ryan said he's gonna come in everyday to buy things and give comments about what a good worker I am lol omg PLEASE DO THAT. ^_^ Anywhooo thats really all I have to say, I'm gonna watch some girlie movies an get rich or die tryin' whilst tryin to stay up.
|
|
|
| denial? |
[Thursday
March 13th, 2008] |
|
I think I just may, just a tad, eency weency little bit, be starting to feel what love feels like.
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
March 12th, 2008] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
Ok so you know you're pathetic when you feel productive after a day of waking up at noon, going for a walk, grabbing a bite to eat, stopping at the store to buy face wash, and doing a bit of cleaning.
LOL I seriously have no life! I can't wait to start working and get out on my own, I'm soo greatful for everything that Ryan has done I can't even describe how awesome he's been.. But now it's time for me to start taking care of myself, I hate the feeling of dependency. And if I'm going to need a place of my own by.. say, April? (May to be safe.) I'm going to have to get on my ass and start getting some serious shit together. My mom wants to get an apartment with me but I seriously can't live with her anymore.. It's not that I don't want to, I'd love to be able to live with my mom for a few more months but I need to think about my physical, mental and emotional well being here and if I can't handle seeing her for a day I can't imagine what living in a small apartment with her for a few more months would be like. Oh wait, I can... I've put up with her crap for 18 years.
I love my mom but I just think things will get better once I get settled in on my own and she sees I'm not the huge fuck up she likes to think of me as..
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
February 20th, 2008] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the smooths hardskool breaks vol5 |
] |
Okay, so apart from being SICK AS FUCK and wanting to kill myself, things are pretty good.
I haven't even been able to start packing because I'm totally useless right now.
My mom cleaned out this pantry that hasn't been used in ever (literally like can of alphaghetti from like 1988 was found) and we found a can and no word of a lie, SOMETHING made a little whole in the top, and ate out eveything on the inside, it was completely hollow!! Gives me the creeps. But as much as I really don't want to I should shower and get ready cause I need to see a doctor me thinks.
|
|
|
|
[Monday
February 11th, 2008] |
|
YO YO YO
At my grampies. He's in the hospital right now, he's getting better but he's going to be living with my aunt and uncle so that means I have no place to live, I'm going to assume that I'll be staying at ernies.. but yeah soo much crap to pack up here and find something to do with all the shit my mom brought here.. A bit stressful but I ain't stressin.
Maan, Ryan bought me a new jacket, snowpants and goggles and a hat and shiat he really wants to teach me how to snowboard cause he wants to take me to Banff! Unbelievable, no ones ever done anything quite like this for me, it's overwhelming. I'm excited! ♥
Soo we checked out czech on friday it was alright.. packed, the sound quality was shit so then we took off to love hurts which was a lot better, ran into Lee there which was a pleasant surprise, love that dude, I also ran into him at the bank today. We need to hang out I think. Today after watch an episode of gargoyles mama picked me up and we went for sushi which was delish, So I should get started on some serious packing (or maybe get some rest and do it tomorrow).. peacee
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
January 30th, 2008] |
I feel great! (Tired of hearing that yet?) I'm at Ernies right now about to have a shower, get to see the kids today, man it's Wednesday already? Time just flies when you do nothing.
It's 10:30 and I've already had 7 servings of fruit and vegetables this morning, Ernie bought a sweet new juicer and I can't get enough haha. I'm going on a health spree. I've completely sworn off mcdonalds and eventually all the other places that serve artery clogging, heart attack inducing grossness that doesn't only cause obesity but multiple health hazards.
It's taken a lot of time, I've gone through all sorts of numerous attempts of educating myself on all the crap I put into my body and still didn't seem to care. One day I just was sort of done with bionic burgers and toxic mutant fries. Obviously (homemade) cheeseburgers are still the shit I promise I'll only eat them once in a while.
It probably all started when I quit smoking. My lungs can breathe! I can run a block without getting tired
and I'm just sick of all the risks I've been putting to my health. I'm getting addicted to being healthy.
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
t_t_t_tina's journal